3 Simple Rituals that Keep Your Home Feeling Good, for Good
We've all been there: There's a move, guests are coming, or we watch a home improvement show. We clean, declutter, and decorate with gusto. Leaping into action feels easy.
The tricky part is keeping up that momentum. Because... life happens. Stuff and information deluges us daily. We're busy at work, a kid gets sick, there's COVID... Suddenly, the house doesn't feel good anymore.
I teamed up with Tinka Markham from uber-cool Solve My Space to bring you 3 rituals that'll keep your home feeling good, for good:
Go Slow to Go Fast
Phases Don't Faze You
Do the Complete Job
Let's explore the principles and practices behind each one.
Ritual 1 / Go Slow to Go Fast
We live at warp speed. Each moment bringing a new critical want or need.
Advertisers prey on hurry with "micro-moments:" Split-second opportunities to make what *seems* urgent prevail over what's important.
As a result, much of what we bring home is dead weight.
PRACTICE
1 / Adopt a "Sleep-on-It" rule; it'll help you avoid impulsive decisions.
2 / Create a retreat to discern what's essential; a closet, corner, or shelf with prayer, meditation, and mindfulness aides work well.
@REVEAL.METHOD
Ritual 2 / Phases don’t faze you
It's tempting to cast our lives onto a smooth "Circle of Life."
But zooming in even just a little reveals a (more realistic) jagged trajectory: Life is full of transitions.
It helps to reframe what feels like unending disruptions to our "normal" as a bonafide transition. A small tweak in perspective can have enormous benefits: Containing a transition within time ("beginning, middle, end" vs. "unending") makes us present to respond (not react!) to change.
PRACTICE
3 / Say no to transition-specific pseudo-solutions!
- e.g. When transitioning Baby from bottle to cup, skip intermediary "sippy" cups; work on mastering the straw.
- e.g. When moving into a rental/first home, avoid "placeholder" pieces; save for items you'll cherish.
@REVEAL.METHOD
RITUAL 3 / Do the complete job
When a task isn't fully completed, it becomes an open loop (check out Bluma Zeigarnik and David Allen's work for more). Our brains *think* every open loop is due now!
Despite our culture normalizing multitasking, our brains are wired to do one thing at a time, completely. (Sorry!)
Do the "little things" that shape your ordinary life with single-minded attention. You'll finish them faster and find ways to simplify, delegate, automate, or eliminate them!
PRACTICE
4 / Script your focus:
- If interrupted, I'll say: "I’M FREE IN [5]."
- If distracted, I'll recite: "WHY [finishing this task is important]."
- If tempted to escape/multitask, I'll: "TURN [temptation] INTO A REWARD."
J. Russell Ramsay & Anthony L. Rostain
Our homes mirror our inner lives. Home can't remain a sanctuary if our inner lives and priorities can't stay well-defined and in proper order.
Let us know which ritual you're most excited to try! Meet Tinka and me on Instagram at @solvemyspace and @reveal.method.
Further enriching from today's post:
@solvemyspace and @reveal.method - Duh!:)
Solve My Space by Tinka Markham
How Micro-Moments Are Changing the Rules, by Sridhar Ramaswamy on Think with Google
Zeigarnik Effect, on Wikipedia
The Myth of Multitasking, reviewed by Ekua Hagan on PsychologyToday.com
Cheat Sheet: How to Use the Getting Things Done (GTD) Productivity System, by David Masters on TutsPlus.com
Getting Things Done by David Allen (Support Still North Books & Bar, a local shop; not an affiliate link)
The Adult ADHD Tool Kit: Using CBT to Facilitate Coping Inside and Out, by J. Russell Ramsay & Anthony L. Rostain on Amazon.com (Not an affiliate link)